Picture this: you’ve found the one. The person you want to spend your life with. You can see the future so clearly — sharing holidays, raising kids, growing old together on a front porch swing, fingers intertwined.
Maybe it’s taken years to get here. Maybe it happened fast. Either way, you’re excited and ready to build a life together.
But let me ask you something—have you really talked about what that life looks like?
Have You Had the Real Conversations?
Most couples think they’ve shared their dreams. But have you really dug deep?
- What does “sharing holidays” look like when both families want the same ones?
- How will you handle money—budgets, saving, spending?
- Have you talked about physical intimacy? Boundaries with in-laws? Kids? Faith?
Let’s be honest—these aren’t the sexy romcom dinner date topics we dream about. When you’re planning a wedding or dreaming about a honeymoon, it can feel like there’s plenty of time to figure it all out later.
But science says the sooner you talk about it, the better.
I encourage you to try out some of these tips if you experience emotional escalation that might be creating difficulties in your life.
What Is Premarital Counselling (And Why Should You Care)?
Premarital counselling is exactly what it sounds like—dedicated time before the wedding to talk through the stuff that really matters. The hard stuff. The awkward stuff. The “I’m not sure how to bring this up” stuff.
And it works. One study by Borowski and Tambling (2015) found that premarital counselling helps prevent future marital stress and even lowers the risk of divorce. It leads to immediate improvements and long-term growth.
It’s Not About Having It All Figured Out
Here’s the thing: no couple walks into marriage with all the answers. Life is messy and unpredictable. But when you go into it with the tools to communicate well, manage conflict, and truly understand each other, you’re starting off on solid ground.
Premarital counselling helps with that. A good counsellor creates a safe space for those vulnerable conversations and helps you both feel heard—without turning it into a fight. You’ll learn how to talk, how to listen, and how to move forward as a team.
Marriage Is Work—But It’s Worth It
Your relationship is worth investing in. Think of premarital counselling like relationship training. You’re not “fixing” anything—you’re building a foundation.
You’ll discover your strengths as a couple, talk through potential challenges, and come out on the other side feeling more connected than ever.
Because let’s be honest: love is magical, but lasting love takes effort. Even Prince Charming had to put in the work to find Cinderella.
So, What’s Next?
Keep dreaming about that happily ever after—because it’s possible. Premarital counselling isn’t a sign that something’s wrong. It’s a sign that you care enough to prepare for what’s ahead.
And if you ask the couples who’ve done it? Most will say the same thing:
“We wish we’d done it sooner.”
Borowski, S. C., & Tambling, R. B. (2015). Applying the Health Belief Model to Young Individuals’ Beliefs and Preferences About Premarital Counselling. The Family Journal (Alexandria, Va.), 23(4), 417–426. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480715602221
