Narcissism?

What actually is Narcissism?
The term narcissist gets thrown around a lot these days, but how many narcissists are
there actually? Well, according to Psychology Today Canada, narcissistic personality
disorder (NDP) is rare in Canada, affecting an estimated 1% of the population. The
prevalence of NDP has remained stable since clinicians began measuring it.

Mislabeling people with narcissism usually comes from behaviours such as being self-
centered, bragging, attention seeking, and being the loudest in a room. However,
narcissism is much more complex than this. First off, narcissism is on a spectrum and
despite popular belief, a little bit of narcissism can be healthy. For example,
autonomous narcissism encompasses traits such as being self-confident, having drive,
being productive, but still having some ability to care for others.

When people use the term narcissism it is usually referring to the negative parts of
narcissistic personality disorder or malignant type. Narcissism is scored on a spectrum
and those who score into the mid and even high range without meeting the full criteria
for narcissistic personality disorder may present as charming and can come off as vain,
however they still are considered healthy.

Those who meet the criteria for a narcissistic personality disorder consistently display
certain characteristics such as grandiose self importance, lack of empathy, need for
extreme validation, attention, and appreciation. They believe they have some unique
and important qualities that make them superior to others and require them to have
special treatment. These traits must negatively impact their daily life to meet the criteria
and this usually shows up in their relationships due to their inability to empathize with
others.

It can be exhausting and frustrating dealing with a narcissist as they will use tactics to
reaffirm their view of themself that can be damaging to others such as manipulation,
exploitation, and altering reality to meet their own needs. If you are met with a narcissist
it is important to establish healthy boundaries and self protection in terms of emotional
distance. To establish healthy boundaries it is important to be clear in your
communication with them about what you are not willing to tolerate i.e. put downs,
demeaning comments, etc. It is helpful to discuss how their behaviours affect you as
they are typically not aware and be prepared for some reactive behaviour. You will also
have to prepare for some pushback and be clear around what you will do if your
boundaries are not honoured i.e. end the conversation. It is also important to maintain
your own social support for your own mental health as some narcissists will try and
isolate you to maintain dominance. If you need further support or clarity around whether
you should stay in a relationship with a narcissist it may be beneficial to seek out
professional support, such as a therapist.