Benefits of Couples Therapy

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Couples often go through difficult periods such as childbirth, financial issues, death of friends or family, mental and physical health issues, and mid-life transitions to name a few. They also could be experiencing a lack of connection or simply wanting to improve what is already working. A common misperception is that couples have to be in a state of crisis to consider counselling and it’s usually seen as a last resort. Many couples can benefit from a few counselling sessions together (unless there is physical violence then individual sessions may be necessary) to increase their understanding of each other and gain tools to help navigate life’s ups and downs. 

A few reasons that couples counselling can be a benefit are: 

1. Improving communication skills. Many couples develop unhelpful patterns of communication over time that can lead to feelings of disconnection, resentment, and misunderstanding. A couples therapist can help to identify those patterns and help the couple recognize how this may lead to marital dissatisfaction. 
2.  A safe space to discuss personal issues. Couples often do not feel safe enough to discuss their problems on their own and feel they could benefit from a therapist offering an impartial third-party perspective on their relationship. The therapy office may be a safer place to discuss triggering issues such as money, recent or past infidelity, parenting, concerns about addictions, or any other problems that can lead to increased conflict at home. 
3. A place to learn more about each other: many couples become stuck in day-to-day routines and stop being curious about each other. A therapist can help facilitate conversations that increase a couple’s knowledge about each other’s internal world and patterns. They often learn things that they never knew about each other in therapy. This can help to bring back some newness and excitement to the relationship. 
4. A place to rebuild trust. Many couples develop trust issues for many reasons including recent or past infidelity, unspoken resentments, difficulties with intimacy, concerns with how each other is dealing with extended family, different parenting styles, and lack of clear boundaries. The therapist can use interventions to help facilitate discussions about each partner’s deeper feelings, perceptions, and needs regarding their relationship concerns. This can help to foster greater empathy and understanding from the other partner leading to greater trust and connection. 
5. New couples can benefit from counselling before making a major commitment. Many couples don’t decide to go to therapy until they are at a breaking point in their relationship. It can be beneficial to attend therapy when a couple intends to become more serious and make a longer-term commitment. A therapist can help pinpoint potential communication issues that could lead to future resentment and conflict and provide tools that will decrease this possibility.  

It can be a big decision to attend couples therapy, so it is important to consider doing a consultation with a few different therapists to assess for the best fit. Feeling comfortable with the therapist is an important part of this process and will help to ease any discomfort each partner may have.  

Heather Nolin, MC, is experienced in the areas of anxiety and self-esteem, plus many more. For more information on Heather and her work, click here to link to her full bio page.